Ok I’m almost done with my story. I’ve got the outline done, most of the details planned out, and I’ve got the title picked out. Now I just want to know what you think:

The story takes place in Kansas City, Missouri in the late 90s. Dets. Valerie Dane and James Macall are given the case of Summer Aiken, a 17-year-old mom to a 2-year-old daughter, Sydney. Summer was found in an alley, apparently gang-raped and beaten to death. While gathering information involving the case, Summer confides in the detectives that she knows that she doesn’t have much time left and that the treatments that they’re trying aren’t working. All she wants is to see her daughter. When they go to Summer’s apartment to get Sydney from the babysitter, the babysitter is gone and so is Sydney. The case goes from rape and assault to kidnapping. When they go to Leah Aiken’s home it is discovered the entire story of how her family fell apart. Leah says that she would do anything to make Sydney’s life better. This, therefore, makes her a suspect.
Next, they approach Sydney’s father, Ashton Berkeley, who is 18. He tells them that he wanted to be with Sydney, but his parents banned him from having any contact with Summer or his daughter. He wanted to take Sydney away from Summer because he heard about her being a prostitute and thought Summer was a bad parent. This also makes him a suspect in the kidnapping of Sydney.
The detectives eventually find Sydney in the basement of a brownstone after an anonymous tip heard Sydney screaming. The babysitter is found dead with Sydney. The basement belonged to Dallas Campbell, the man that led the gang-rape of Summer. He did this because he claims that Summer cheated him out of money because she wasn’t “good enough”.Unfortunately, while Dallas is on trial, Summer dies of severe blood loss from the internal bleeding and multiple staff infections from the cuts she got. But she did get to spend time with her daughter, in which time she learns the word “momma”.
After Summer’s passing, Ashton is awarded custody of Sydney and has his name put on Sydney’s birth certificate as her father.

During this whole story, Valerie and James confront their physical and emotional attraction. Although James loves Valerie and would do anything for her, he’s not ready to let go of his deceased wife, Rachel, who died in a car accident involving a drunk driver. In the end, James learns to let go and live with the fact that his wife passed away and that she would want him to be happy with someone.

The epilogue reveals that Valerie Dane was telling the story in present day to a group of new detectives as she’s retiring.

Please critique me. I’m tough skinned. I can handle it. hahaha
Leah is Summer’s mother. Sorry for not pointing that out. Once I get into a story I write without thinking sometimes. bahaha

Tags: critique, just, please, solidify, story, think